Casey & Chad

Chad and I thought we would have some good news to share very soon but unfortunately, we don't. We recently learned that the woman who had selected us to parent her baby boy decided to parent. We thought our dreams were finally going to come true and we were thrilled. Although it was sad for us, I'm all for birth parents parenting if that's what they feel is the best decision. I really hope everything works out for her. Adoption is not definetely not for the faint of heart. As for us, we hope to be matched again soon!

Unfortunately failed matches are part of the process of adoption. It is very common, and our failed match could have been much worse. I've heard about failed matches just days before the baby was due or even after the baby was born. Luckily, that was not the case in our situtation.

We found out last week that things were going south on the adoption front. On Friday night after work, I skipped the gym and brought home a Papa Murphy's pizza and we hunkered in all night catching up on our shows, eating pizza and Halloween candy. I may or may not have had to go buy some more candy.

I've heard several times that we'll get pregnant after we adopt (BTW- I absolustely hate hearing that), but maybe the same can be said for a failed match-we'll get matched again very soon! We can only hope!!

On September 12, I went on a vacation to Cuba for 1 week with my aunt Mary Joy. It's only been about a year since Americans could travel to Cuba legally since President Obama lifted some of the embargo restructions. We choose Cuba because I thought I wanted to get there while we are allowed to because that amy change in the future. Americans can only travel to Cuba on what they call "people to people" exchanges. So, that means that the trips need to focus on interactions with the Cubans and less on touristy stuff. We went with Grand Circle Foundation, an arm of Overseas Adventure Travel, a company devoted to travel that stays close to the people and the nature of the country. Here's the link to the trip: http://www.grandcirclefoundation.org/cuba/9day-itinerary-cuba-havana-and-viales-valley.aspx

We spent time with people including dancers, artists, school children, seniors at senior centers, families, lecturers on various topics (history of Cuba, daily life, rationing, housing, changes over the years, baseball). We also had meals with residents including fisherman, one of whom said he had fought at the Bay of Pigs when he was 18 years old. We stayed in Havana for the first 2 days at the Hotel Nacional, the “grande dame” of Havana (http://www.hotelnacionaldecuba.com/en/home.asp. We then went to the country for 3 days where we stayed at the Hotel Noka, the hotel for Las Terrazas, (http://www.hotelmoka-lasterrazas.com/.) We returned to the Hotel Nacional for the last few days. Fortunately, the hotels and the bus were air conditioned. It is extremely hot at this time of year!!

Cuba is a communist country. Everything is controlled by the government: the hotels, the restaurants, the tobacco farms etc. Food is rationed and people live in multigenerational residences, some of which areVERY small. Only recently can people sell and buy their own homes----previously the State controlled all of those transactions. Milk is available only to children up to 7 years of age. People earn, on average, $20 per month. Most people have more than one job. There is a very active black market. Many people have relatives in the United States who send money to them. The fisherman I had lunch with says he receives about $200 a year from his son, who lives in Miami. He said if he didn't have that money, he would not be able to make it.

Understandably, the Cuban people are very creative. Cars are an example: there are many, many American cars from the late 1950s. They have been carefully maintained; most of the parts are no longer American due to the trade embargo by America since 1960. The embargo was a reaction to the nationalization of American property in Cuba and later, to the influence of Soviet Russia in Cuba.

The Cuban people we met were cheerful, and very hospitable. It seemed they still partially believe in the Revolution but are hoping that restrictions on trade with the United States will be lifted or softened further. Fidel was president for 50 years but has been absent from the public scene since 2008 when his brother Raul was made president. There are no statutes to Fidel and it appears that he is not a feature of daily life anymore.

Cuba has many cultural pluses. The medical care is excellent: there is a doctor for every 137 people and there are clinics everywhere including in the rural areas. There is universal literacy and education including university is free. The people occupying the highest status in the country are artists. This includes ballet dancers, musicians, visual artists, sculptors and other artists. They receive more pay than others, have better housing, and travel internationally. Athletes are also highly regarded. Cubans won 12 gold medals in the Olympics in London. The music of Cuba iswonderful! It is based on African drums and rhythms, Spanish music and jazz from the United States. At most restaurants, musical groups appeared, played beautifully and then had CDs to sell---Mary Joy bought several! We also went to a performance at Beauna Vista Social Club which was really fun. And of course, it is a very beautiful country.

Some other interesting facts: the birth rate is dropping and so pregnant women from the country side are encouraged to come to special maternity hospitals in the cities if their pregnancies are problematic. Hemingway had a home south of Havana and we visited it. It was lovely, a home originally built by the Spanish on a hilltop with a view of Havana.

I did enjoy the food but it was a lot of beans and rice!! Fortuntely, I do like them and they definetely fill you up. When we were at Hotel Moka, there was more fresh fruit and vegetables. The avocados we say were the size of watermelons and tasted so good. They only have 2 kids of beer in Cuba-light and dark. I did drink a lot of pina colodos and mojoitos.

We could bring home only art and CDs. Our government doesn’t allow us to bring in anything else including cigars or rum both of which Cuba is famous for. As a surprise to the participants of the trip, our guide arranged for us to be taken to the airport in convertibles that were from the 1950s. It was great fun.

Fortunately, our guide for the trip (Leo) was also young like me and he took me out on the town several nights and we had a lot of fun. Cubans of all ages love to play dominoes so there were many young people playing at the bars we went to. The Cubans are also fabulous dancers so it was fun to watch them salsa dance!!